BTS has once again started an extensive beginning to their August comeback with a new diary in their “The Most Beautiful Moment in Life: The Notes” saga.
“The Most Beautiful Moment In Life” series release by BTS was part of their previous album releases, which included two mini-albums and a compilation album. The storyline of these albums continuously appear in their most recent releases and continue to strike up theories amongst A.R.M.Y.
With BTS announcing their comeback with a repackaged album “Love Yourself: Answer” a new “The Most Beautiful Moment in Life: The Notes” entry was released on August 7 at midnight KST. It is written by Jin’s perspective and describes what happened when the group returned to the place where their story began.
Read the diary below:
“3 August YEAR 22
“I opened the door to the storage classroom and went inside. On the summer night, the smell of mold and dust mixed together in the warm air. A few scenes flashed through my mind. The principal’s shining shoes, the expression on Namjoon’s face as he stood outside the door, the last day when I turned away from Hoseok and went back on my own. All of a sudden my head hurt and I felt a chill. I felt a flood of complicated emotions like a pain, which could have been called irritation or fear. The signs I felt with my body and heart were clear. I have to leave this place.
“Taehyung grabbed my arm, maybe because he noticed my expression. Hyung. Try a bit more. Try to remember what happened here. I shook off Taehyung’s hand and turned around. We’d been wandering around in the sweltering heat for a few hours already. I was completely exhausted. The others looked at me as though they didn’t know what to say. Memories. The memories that Taehyung spoke about were just meaningless words to me. Saying I did that, saying that happened to me, saying we did something together. It’s possible. It seemed like it was true. But memory isn’t about understanding or acceptance. It’s not about an experience you hear about and understand. It has to be deeply rooted in your heart, mind, and soul. But for me, the only memories in that place were bad things. The things that hurt me, that made me want to escape.
“A disagreement broke out between myself and Taehyung, since I said I would go back and Taehyung tried to stop me. But we were both exhausted. The hitting, dodging, and holding back were slow and heavy, as though they were taking place in a thick and warm liquid. In a brief instant, our feet got tangled up. I wondered if my shoulder had crashed into the wall, and in the next moment I lost my balance and stumbled.
“At first, I had no way of knowing what had happened. Because of the thick dust, I couldn’t open my eyes or breathe. I started to cough. Are you okay? When someone spoke, I realized I had fallen on to the floor. When I got up, I noticed that the thing that I’d thought was a wall had collapsed. Beyond the wall was a very large space. At first, no one moved. No way. We spent so much time here. Someone said. No one could have imagined that that space would have been beyond the wall. But what’s that? As the dust settled, we saw that there was a cabinet sitting on its own in the empty space.
“Namjoon opened the door to the cabinet. I stepped forward. There was a single notebook inside. Namjoon picked up the notebook and turned the first page. I stopped breathing for a moment. On the first page of that notebook that appeared to be old, there was a name written that I didn’t expect. It was my father’s name. Namjoon seemed to be turning to the next page, but I snatched it away. Namjoon looked at me in surprise, but I didn’t care. I thumbed through the pages. In between my fingers, the notebook seemed like it would fall to pieces.
“What was written in my father’s handwriting in the notebook were a diary of the things he did with his friends in his high school days. It wasn’t an account of what happened every single day. Some months were skipped, and there was a page that was made unreadable by something that seemed to be bloodstains. But I knew anyway. That my father had gone through the same thing as me. He’d made the same mistakes as me, and was running and running to try to make up for it.
“The things written in my father’s notebook were a record of failures. In the end, my father had given up and failed. He’d forgotten, dismissed it, and evaded it. He’d let his friends down. On the last page with a date written on it, there was only a stain of jet-black ink that had smeared. It ran through to the blank next page, the page after that, and all the way to the last page. The stain showed my father’s failure loud and clear.
“I wasn’t sure how much time had gone by, everything felt cloudy. Since the breeze coming through the window had become cool, it seemed like the darkest time of the day, the time right before the sun rises. Namjoon and the others were all sleeping on the floor. I looked up at the wall. I had seen my father’s name on the wall somewhere. Underneath it there was this sentence. Everything started here.
“I felt something radiate from the end of my fingers when I went to close the book. There were blurred letters on top of the ink mark. I felt something foggy from outside the window. It seemed as though the sun was just about to rise. But the night still wasn’t over yet. It wasn’t night, and it wasn’t dawn. In the mix of darkness and hazy light, letters appeared between the lines in the jet-black stain.
“The notebook held memories that were more than just the records. Above the letters, in the margins and blanks, there were things that my father had decided to forget, things he had decided not to remember. The imprinted marks were still there after the color had faded. Beneath my fingers, there was a whirlpool of what my father suffered through and his fears, his seemingly unsurmountable despair and a faint hope. A map of my father’s warped soul remained in the notebook.
“I cried as soon as I closed the notebook. After sitting like that for a long time, I lifted my head, and my friends were still asleep. I looked at each of them. I don’t know if maybe we had to come back to this place. For us, everything started here. We learned about the meaning of doing things together and the joy of laughing together. My first mistake that I’d never been able to acknowledge out loud, it remained like a gaping wound.
“I wondered if all of this wasn’t coincidence. Maybe I had to arrive here in the end. It was the only way for me to find meaning in the mistakes I’d made, and the pain and suffering caused by them, and for me to at last be able to take the first step in finding the map of my soul.”
BTS’s repackaged album “Love Yourself: Answer” is due out on August 24
What are your thoughts on this new diary entry?